First, when issues you struggle with are brought into light, it allows Christ to deal with it and Satan's hand to get off it. Where there is light, there can be no darkness. Go to a mentor and allow your struggle to be brought to light and deal with it...grow...get accountability...and don't turn back. With that said, I'd like to bring to light an issue I cannot seem to nip in the bud (Wow, I have acted in way too many plays considering I just said what I did). Maybe you can relate and hopefully change your "security in an insecure relationship with Christ" into "INsecurity in an insecure relationship with Christ" and ultimately become "Secure in Christ". Period. Sounds crazy but I promise, we need to first become insecure in our not so great securities in order to throw insecurity into the pit of Hell...make sense? :)
What do I mean when I say "I tend to stay secure in an insecure relationship with Christ?" Glad you asked. When I say I have security, I mean that I am so comfortable with where I am and what I am doing that I am not willing to become insecure to change what needs to be changed because, heck, I don't want to be uncomfortable! This is what I am used to! This is working for the most part! I mean, I stay stressed all day long and continually worry, but this is security to me.
Fact: I am okay with constantly questioning what my Father tells me or promises me or just genuinely speaks to me because I have got to make it make sense to my tiny pea-sized brain. I am okay with not fully trusting in God because if I fully trusted Him, that means I won't always understand how things will work out or when they will work out and let us face it, when my hand and understanding are removed from a dear situation, I am dang insecure! Can you relate? Ya see, I am secure in an insecure relationship with Christ....and that is NOT okay!
Okay, let's put our stones away and take off our "religious glasses" and allow me to continue to be transparent with you guys. I love God with all my heart and want His will for my life, but sometimes I struggle hardcore with Trust. If you were honest, I know you do as well. Alright, let's keep bringing this to light. Let's deal with this and become secure in Christ.
I have issues. Ha, but seriously, I really do have some tough issues at hand. I want to get married. Hold the phone: I know marriage will not make my life complete, I know men are annoying, I know I am only almost 20, I know marriage takes work (Hello: I am a product from a marriage that did not work out)...let me be real with y'all and do not start spewing out what I am not naive to, k? :) Anywho, I want to get married. I cannot remember a day, since I was a wee child, that I did not dream of being a wife! I know all of you guys know that because I guarantee I have talked about it to ya! I just know it! I want to be the ultimate wife...like, "Wife on Steroids." Putting aside my age, I just cannot fathom a man longing for a woman with a child and a destroyed body. I really just cannot wrap my mind around it. With that said, I cry and cry and cry to God asking Him to take away the desire of marriage because I just KNOW it isn't in the cards for me anymore. I'm doomed for loneliness. Everyone always says, "God will bring 'him' in His timing...you are not ready yet." Oh, if there isn't a statement that just makes me start boilin' more than that one! I FEEL LIKE I AM SO READY! I diligently seek God daily and am faithful! I am reaaadddyyyyy! Psh, I act like God does not know me better than I know myself. When I finally decide to get God's opinion and ultimate decision on this HUGE matter in my life, I get the answer....'Trust me.." What the heck? Trust you? Okay. Got it.
But as soon as I see a happily married, Godly, YOUNG couple, I start getting insecure in God's direct statement to me: "Trust me..." But I don't understand why these couples are thriving in their marriages and got married after 6 months of dating, yet I am spending hours and months of prayer for this "man" that I am not even sure will respond to God's call to become one with me! I hope my rambling is making sense; bear with me.
Ya see, I am secure in being insecure in Christ. Why? Why do I feel secure when I question God? Maybe because as long as I question I can make things make sense to me...or Maybe I'll create an argument that will surely put God in His place because I know what is best for my life!!...Uh-oh...Man, I fall short everyday more so then what I had thought...
This can not be okay with us. When you decide to follow Christ, you have to remind yourself that you are serving a Father whom knows you better than yourself, works all things together for your good (Romans 8:28), does NOT disappoint you, has never been inconsistent, lived in the world and overcame it!, conquered Death!, and the list goes onnnnn. That kind of a being means what He says and why is it so hard to trust Him? Yet, we continually give our hearts out to INconsistent humans, whom did not conquer the grave, and more so lives like the world rather than coming close to overcoming it...Hm...we need more Jesus and need to repent.
When Christ told me, "Trust me," when it came to me crying about never having a Godly man that I was interested in pursue me, I needed/need to trust him. I know how good Christ is. I know His ways are perfect, but I also know His ways don't always make sense to me...and His ways do not always come when my selfish flesh thinks they are due.
Are you secure in an insecure relationship with Christ? Do you continually question God's motives after He has made it clear to you what you need to do? Or maybe Christ has been silent to you on an issue for a season...are you questioning Him or are you remaining diligent in "asking, seeking, and knocking", because I promise the door will be opened for you in time, His time.
My challenge to you is to become INsecure in this security. It is no bueno. Let us put into practice what we preach. When you decide to trust Christ with your life, become secure in Him. Do not take matters in your own hands after you placed it in His in order to try and understand what is going on. My issue of wanting to get married is in Christ hands. I am working on not taking it out of His on a daily basis...
I am secure in the fact that Christ's ways are way better than my own.
From Secure in an insecure relationship with Christ to INsecure in an insecure relationship with Christ to becoming Secure in Christ. Let's put it to practice.
There is not a better feeling then knowing your Daddy will orchestrate your life beautifully and timely if you just Trust him; become secure in Him.