Here's My Proposition, God:

"Let this pregnancy test be a negative, and I promise, God, with this transparent and sincere heart, that I will never let you down again. I promise to live a life worthy of the calling you designed for me. Please, God. Have favor on me. I have always been faithful, God! It was just that one slip-up!.."

That was pretty close to my cry on a Wednesday night in a Wal-Mart bathroom in November, 2008. Such a scary, probably the scariest truth-be-told, night in my life. Up to that point in my life I had never really engaged in anything that "the church would frown upon," unless i was condemned by the "religious folks" for wearing tight jeans and having a nose ring. For some reason, when faced with a life-altering answer, I pleaded with God, asking Him to let this situation just scare me into a "closer relationship" with Him; Scare the tar out of me so I wouldn't make a mistake again. Dumb. First, God is a gentleman (and I knew this) and does not force a relationship with Him on anyone, nor would He force more of an intimate one on me. He is that perfect. Second, Actions have consequences, good or bad and you cannot choose your consequences, sad enough. Fact: God remains the same God always! No matter the situation, season, person He is dealing with, or what He allows to happen (notice I did not say makes happen). With that said, keep a sound mind and do not manipulate God into a "situational God." God is God and His ways are higher than ours.

Back to story, I straight up tried to bargain with God. Trade a consequence that I was certain to be bad for a better relationship with my Father; I made a proposition to God. If we were to all be honest with ourselves, you have at one time or another done the same exact thing. "If you just fix this God, I promise I'll never do [Insert your short-comings here] again..."

I looked at the stick and a big " : ) " showed in a circle. I was pregnant. 17 years old, junior in high school, "well known Christian" was pregnant. "How could you do this to me God? It was one time God and I know of people who constantly sin sexually and never get pregnant! What have I done to deserve this?" I was furious! How could a God that I have served for years bestow a consequence on me and let the ones who detest Him and do worse than me get tons and tons of free passes? "My proposition was perfect God! How can you say you love me and show favor to those who live for you?"

...Actions always come with a consequence, good or bad....

When I look back at my attitude and the way I spoke to my Father it breaks my heart. Guys, I don't understand why I got pregnant when I lost my virginity. I don't understand why the ones who should be pregnant are not, I do not understand why I have so much on my plate even to this day, I don't get it why my "one bad choice" caused multiple hardships in my life that won't cease any time soon...but something I do know is that my Father tells me in Jeremiah 29:11 that "[He] knows the plans [He] has for me, they are plans for good and not disaster, to give [me] a hope and a future." God and his Word are not circumstantial! This scripture was not disregarded when I made a poor decision. This scripture is not checked off as "does not apply" to you when you make a poor decision! The plan may alter a bit (not by God's doing, you have to remember that) and things may get harder for you and you may go through seasons where you just flat our do not understand one dad gum thing...but get this: He still has a plan for you...He still has a plan for me...a plan that now involves a little boy named, Trace, who I would not give up for anything.

God is not in the deal-making business. He is not someone you offer propositions to when you got [yourself] into a sticky situation that may provoke an altered life. God isn't the author of disaster, confusion, grief, or a mean man. He is everything you are not. The creator of you! Sent his baby, his perfect son, to shed blood, so much blood, and nailed to a tree for you! God watched His son hurt and have his flesh torn from his body...God watched his precious son become a man and take on every single sin of man and cover them with his precious blood. That is the Father we try and bargain with as if He owes us something. No, no we owe everything to Him. We deserve Hell, the end.

With all that said, your every sin is covered by The Blood as well as mistakes made. God is not looking for a proposition (He won't take it, anyway) but is looking for a humbled and repenting heart seeking redemption. Suck it up and deal with your consequences. God offers you the strength to deal with them, trust me, I am given that exact strength daily...sometimes hourly. "For since He himself was tested and has suffered, He is able to help those who are tested." Hebrews 2:18.

Don't throw propositions at God. Live a life worthy of your calling and know that you are an imperfect human that WILL "fall short of the glory of God." His grace is abundant and we will never truly wrap our minds around how amazing our God is. You are covered. Your sin is covered. Your future sins, because they are inevitable, are covered. Now, pick yourself up, dust off the dirt, and start seeking His will for your life again.

"If I keep my eyes on God, I won't trip over my own feet." Psalms 25:15